dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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