I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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