Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
