I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
