He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
