i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
