Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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