you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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