Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
