I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I understand Curling. That high.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
