shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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