Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
