Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
