Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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