i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
