New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
