Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
