Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
