my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
