yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
