I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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