Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
