Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Nicole vs. Life
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
