Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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