We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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