as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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