i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
