I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
