i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Let's get the cat blown out
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
