his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
