So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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