what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
