how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
