corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
