This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm passing your future prison.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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