Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
