Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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