this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
