I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
