I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Randomize
