Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i out mim tonsoeep
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
