shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
