sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
