Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
