Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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