I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
there is glitter all over my balls
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