I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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