you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
