Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
