Plan B is the new Plan A
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
