So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
