I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
