Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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